Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Where I've been

Man it's been a long time! I have had such a hard time with updating here. When I first started this blog I was sure that the minute I got pregnant I would be on here blogging all the time but apparently that's not the case. During the first trimester I was so exhausted all the time that all I did was go to work and sleep. Now that I finally have more energy every time I sit down to blog I start thinking about all of you girls that haven't gotten pregnant yet. I sit and think about you and know that this really isn't what you want to be reading about right now so I don't post anything. Honestly right after I got pregnant I dealt with a lot of guilt and even some depression. I felt so guilty that I got pregnant while so many others didn't. I had a really hard time even coming to grips with bring pregnant and bonding with my baby at all. I felt so disconnected with my own body and so unable to just be happy. I never ever thought that would be me though. I used to read about pregnant women feeling the same way after infertility but I just *knew* that would never be me. Obviously I was wrong.

Thank you to everyone who has checked up me. You girls are awesome. I'm sorry if I haven't gotten back to you. Hopefully I will be on here posting more updates more frequently.