Saturday, March 6, 2010

Feeling Betrayed

Today is CD30 on a medicated cycle. I have no period, no cramps, no spotting, no pms, no sore boobs, nadda. Should be good news right? It would be if the test I took this morning wasn't negative.

**please don't tell me that there is still hope, I know that... however, it doesn't help.


It's not even the negative that gets to me so much. I'm getting pretty used to that. It's the fact that I work so hard at not getting my hopes up. I don't even test until I'm late. I work so hard at it and my body works just as hard to make me get my hopes up. Would a little pms or spotting be too much to ask for? Really?

I'm just tired. Tired of being betrayed by my body. Tired of this shit.

9 comments:

Lucky Jones said...

I had crazy cycles when I was doing meds too... it sucked. I had no idea what to do until I called my RE and demanded a beta, then prometrium to kick start AF. It just sucks. But hang in there sweetie, you never know. You are only at CD30.... Do you know exactly what day you O'ed?

love you!! and I am here for you!

Stacie said...

Hugs. Did the same thing yesterday and saw the same single line. (posted about it a bit ago, too)

I wish it was easier for all of us.

Lauren said...

I'm sorry Coco:(

Sarah said...

Sorry to hear it. Hang in there... (((hug)))

Emmy said...

I'm so sorry. There is nothing fun about that.

junebug said...

((Hugs)) I am so sorry. I feel the same way.

ifcrossroads said...

I've been wondering about you. Sending you ((hugs)) for being in limbo-land hell.

Carrie said...

Hoping your cycles get regulated soon! Huge (((HUGS)))!

The Baby Race said...

just ended a cycle of clomid. day 33 rolled around with no period, but sore nipples and tender breasts. I dared to hope and then my period came on day 34. I'm really sorry. This waiting shit is the WORST