Thursday, February 18, 2010

Bloggy Makeover!

Guess who got a new blog design???

If your reading this on your Reader go ahead and click over.

C'mon! You know you wanna!!

Isn't it pretty?? I L-O-V-E it!

My good friend, Alison, over at the Privileged Infertile did it for me. If you've been thinking about a makeover for your blog you should really look at some of her work! I really didn't give her a whole lot to go on as far as what I wanted but she seemed to get it since she hit it on the nail! You can check out her pricing here. You can also view some other blogs she's done at This Giggly Girl.

And even if you aren't interested in her work you should go over and offer her a hug. She recently found out her 2nd IUI didn't work and well, you ladies know how that goes...

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Big Vent

Change of plans... I need to get this out.

Today my close cousin delivered her second baby within two years. Both babies were conceived with contraceptives and both about 3 months before they planned on starting to try. In fact, this is how all of the women in my family are. F-E-R-T-I-L-E Myrtles. Anyway, back to today.

I have done really well with accepting it and being happy for her. I love her little girl and know that I will love this baby boy. It isn't her fault that I'm infertile and it isn't her fault that she's as fertile as they come. I may not be "cool" with it but I will be ok.

What I'm not ok with is what this is doing to the people closest to me. For instance, I had planned to go see the baby today with my mom until she called and said she couldn't. She told me that she had spent the day crying because she hurt for me. She said that she couldn't go hold that perfect baby knowing that it should be my turn.

That kills me. It kills me because she feels that way because of me.

I know that it was not her intention to make me feel bad and I know that it's natural for her to hurt over this. However, I HATE the idea that she is feeling pain because of me. MY problems are hurting those around me. All this time that I have been crying to her and letting my true colors out, I could have been sparing her from that pain. I need to learn to keep it to myself. Just because I have to hurt doesn't mean those around me do.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Life is busy... I'm doing my best to keep up with yall's blogs but I'm definitely falling behind. I'm sorry!! Hopefully I'll be back soon!