Friday, November 27, 2009

I have started this post a billion times and I delete it every time. Somehow no post seems to convey my feelings, or seem eloquent enough for the situation. And honestly, it just hurts to bad to try and relive the things that happened on Wednesday. Hopefully I will be able to. Just not now, not while I am just trying to make it through the day.




On Wednesday I began to miscarry my baby. The baby that I loved with my entire being. The baby that brought joy not only to me and my husband but to everyone close to us.

I know that I only knew about that baby for 4 days but the things is, that was MY baby. I loved that baby from the minute it was conceived and I will love that baby until I die.

Wednesday was probably the hardest day I have ever lived so far. I actually remember saying that I felt like I was dying inside. But, I made it through. Made it through Wednesday, made it through Thursday and in one minute I will have made it through Friday. I will make it, I just need some time.

22 comments:

Stacie said...

Oh Coco. I am just so, so sorry. I am reaching my arms through this screen to engulf you in a tremendous hug. Sending my love to you today and always...

junebug said...

I am so sorry.
Lots of ((((Hugs))))) and prayers being sent your way.

Lauren said...

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss :(

'Murgdan' said...

I am so so sorry.

Christina said...

I'm so sorry Coco.

{{HUGS}}

Robin said...

Noooooooooooo!!! Oh, Coco. I'm so so sorry.

Emmy said...

Oh no. I'm so sorry. ((hugs))

Lucky Jones said...

Ugh, if I could give you a big hug right now I would. I know there isn't much I can say to comfort you, just know that I am here for you and I know one day very soon you will see those beautiful 2 lines again. I have faith in that.

Praying for you ((((((((hugs))))))))

Amy said...

I have been a bad blogger and bad at checking in to see what's going on. I saw your last post in my updates and had to check in on you and I am so saddened to see this update. Coco I am so so very sorry. I have had a miscarriage before and I know how hard it is. Like my Dr said to me when I had my loss at least now you know that you can in fact get pregnant. Not that it makes it any better but knowing that means you can do it again. I am hoping and praying that your next BFP is super sticky. (And I know there will be a next BFP for you). {{{Big Hugs}}}

Anonymous said...

The words "I'm sorry" just aren't enough. But that's all I know to say. It is so unfair that you lost your precious baby after such a long time trying. I will keep you in my prayers.

Jen said...

I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this as well. It doesn't matter if you were pregnant for 9 days or 9 9months, it was your baby, and you loved more than anything.

The morning that I went in for my D&C, I remember thinking to myself that if felt like I was dying inside as well.

You are right, minute by minute you will get through this. Take it one second at a time.

Please know that I'm here if you ever want to talk about this. Feel free to email me or leave me a message on Facebook if you have that.

(((((BIG HUGS))))

Steph O. said...

(((((HUGE HUGS)))))

I know that no words will help right now, but I'm so sorry. I've been away so I hadn't seen your last post until I saw this one.

(((((MORE HUGS)))))

Teresa said...

So unfair. I am beyond sorry. Ugh. Praying for you...

To A T said...

Oh sweetie I am so very sorry!! HUGE ((((HUGS))))
I wish I could take this pain away from you!! Know my prayers are with you hun!!

AJ48 said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your husband. Hang in there sweetie.

nancy said...

Oh no. I am so very sorry for your loss. So sorry. ~hugs~

Chele said...

CoCo, I'm so very sorry. My heart aches for you and wish I could be there to give you hug. If there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to ask.

Also, my blog is going private, if you wish to continue to follow it please send your email address to rcdj9192@netzero.com and I will send you an invite.

Summer (BisforBrown) said...

there are no words. i understand. i am here for you. thank you for commenting to me. you have found a new friend in me. i am here. whenever you need someone.

Someday a Mom? said...

I am so sorry for your loss!

Peeveme said...

I am so, so sorry. Thinking of you.

Teresa said...

I hope you're doing ok. Just checking in...

Morgan said...

It's been awhile since you last posted..I've been thinking about you! I hope you are doing okay and that 2010 is MUCH better for you!