Thursday, July 30, 2009

Rachel was the pretty one

I have a VERY fertile family. For instance, I was conceived while my mom was on birth control and my brother was conceived while she was using a condom. The same goes for most of my family.

Anyway, I have been waited for this day to come, hoping it wouldn't but waiting non-the-less. My younger cousin and his wife started trying for a baby about the same time we did. They got pregnant their first month and had a healthy baby girl. Today, one year and a half later, I got on Facebook and read the announcement that they are pregnant again.

I've been lapped.

I actually handled it better than I thought. I felt the hysteria right on the brink of coming out. Instead I took some deep breaths and texted my sister. This was her text back to me:

"I'm sorry baby, you're time will come. Remember the story of Rachel and Leah in the Bible. Rachel's time came long after Leah's. And Rachel was the pretty one! :)"

I love that girl. She always know how to make me smile!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Liar, Liar...

Pants on Fire!

Last post I promised a week full of blogging. I had big ambitions for wonderful posts that would make you cry, laugh, and pee your pants all at the same time. Ha! Well both you and I should have known better. I ALWAYS have plans for this blogs that I almost never follow through with.

Here are my excuses:

Last Monday when I intended on getting my blog back on I started my period. So I spent both Monday and Tuesday wallowing in my own misery.

**I used to do all of my blog reading and writing at work. Since I'm not even supposed to be on the Internet at work, much less blogging, I have been trying really hard not to. That means that I have to do all of my blogging, facebooking, and reading at the end of the day. After I work, go to the gym, walk the dog, shower and cook dinner. Sometimes I am just plain tired.

**Wednesday and Thursday hubs had two days off in a row. Not only do we work opposite shifts but lately he has been working 6 days a week. So heck yeah I didn't go to the gym or even open the computer!

**Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were busy with I don't even know what. I know I saw Harry Potter on Saturday. It was good, not necessarily great, but entertaining and good.

**Yesterday I was just plain tired! (not much of an excuse but hey, just go with it!)

So, with that said I have had the greatest intentions. Just been very busy/lazy. I have even started drafts with my post ideas so that I will remember them.

*****Big thank you to Lauren for emailing me to check up on me! Makes me feel very loved! Thanks girl!****

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Long time no see!

Hey yall! Sorry it's been so long... I just needed some time to get my shit together. AF is officially here as of today. Next cycle will be au natural again since the whole money saving thing seems to be going pain stakingly slow.

Anyway, I plan on trying to be a much better blogger this coming week. I have a few ideas for posts, so we'll see how they pan out.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."
Jeremiah 29:11

Dear Lord,
I know that You have plans me, great plans. Please help me to be patient until You do show them to me.

Sunday, July 12, 2009


Don't really feel like talking about it.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

So this evening I received a email from someone I've never met. As far as I know, she isn't even a member of the "blogosphere". Her email not only warmed my heart but it also made my day. I thought I share part of it with yall...

"I just came across your blog when I was looking for information on trying to conceive combined with praying.

Of course I wish you and your husband that best of luck and I do believe that God has an ultimate plan for all of us. A baby will be yours and I will pray for you.

I am 31 and we have planned our lives much differently than you but honestly...I am happy to see that you are TTC at this time in your life. I am not sure waiting is always the best idea. Some women I know have waited themselves out of the game. Other women I know have kids at the thought of having sex. And here we are, educated and also TTC. Babies don't know about check books.

What does a baby really need? Love - loving caring parents, food, shelter and some clothes. However, our society has become obsessed with material things and have forgotten what it means to be loving, as parents, as neighbors and friends. I think a child raised in a happy home is the best commitment we can make to society. So I wish you the best. ..."

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Murphy's Law

The phrase, "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong" pretty much sums up Murphy's Law. You know when you have those days where you wake up late, car won't start, your late to work, and your boss screams at you all day? Yeah, that's Murphy's Law.

I pretty much feel like that's my life right now. At least the TTC part of my life and we all know that part takes over all the other parts. The only thing that has gotten me through is God. I have had to realize that I can't control my life, only He can.

I would like to start off by saying that neither my husband or I have degrees. We are blue-collar working people. This has been our choice. We are not by any means well off but we do well for ourselves. We pay all of our bills, are paying off our debt, and still have money to eat, buy clothing, and do fun things. Our money is planned out every paycheck and once it's gone, it's gone. With that said...

The original plan for these coming cycles was to take a month off, save as much as possible and put the rest of the costs of an IUI on the credit card. During that month, though, we decided that would be a irresponsible thing to do. The new plan was to wait until we had the full $1,000 saved so we could pay for the IUI in cash. I felt really good about that decision. We were able to put $300 away in the first week because of hubs' bonus.

It's in His hands, in his Hands, He has a plan, He has a plan

On the 2nd of this month, we got a letter from the apartment complex saying that the carpet from the old apartment had to be completely replaced. This didn't come as much of a surprise to because I live with a man who thinks it's okay to wear dirty, greasy restaurant shoes in the house. Anyway, back to the letter... The letter stated that we had until the 15th to pay $500 in full or we would be evicted. Seriously? 2 weeks and then evicted?

It's in His hands, It's in His hands, He has a plan, He has a plan

So, we scrambled. Luckily we had the $300 because otherwise we would not have made it. We had enough money to pay our bills, buy some groceries, put gas in the cars and pay the bill for the carpet. That put us that much farther from doing another IUI. It sucked but we dealt.

It's in His hands, It's in His hands, He has a plan, He has a plan

At the end of last week Hub's truck started shaking so hard it was almost undrivable. Of course. We took it to the mechanic and dealt with only having one car for a few days. Luckily, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Only another $500.

It's in His hands, It's in His hands, He has a plan, He has a plan

I'm not gonna lie, I'm having a hard time. I feel like this is never going to happen. I feel like we are never going to get pregnant. I'm struggling with depression. I'm defiantly not pulling my own weight around the apartment. My productivity at work is suffering. I'm trying, I really am it's just so hard. The only thing that has kept me from really losing it is repeating to myself over and over,
"It's in His hands, It's in His hands. He has a plan, He has a plan."

Monday, July 6, 2009

Fourth of July Festivities

This 4th was a blast! All the family met up at my aunt and uncle's house. Normally we would do fireworks ourselves but because of the drought there was a ban on them. We ended up at their neighbor's pool after a bar-b-q. Afterwards we were all tired, so we crowded into the living room and watched a movie while eating popcorn and ice cream. Here are a few pics:

My "little" sister jumping off of my Uncle's shoulders

Ethan, my cousin, had to try it too!

He's such a cutie!

Finally, yours truly and my mom

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Toilet Conversation

While I was washing my hands in the bathroom today, the girl from the cleaning company was cleaning the toilets. She usually has her iPod on but always gives a smile and says hi. Anyway, I smiled and she started talking. Here's how the conversation went:

her: So, do you have kids?

me: (smiling) Nope, just me and my husband. You?

her: Yeah, I have two.

me: Oh yeah? How old are they?

her: One is 2 and one is 10 months.

me: (smile getting tighter) awww....

her: So why don't you have kids? Just don't want them? Not your thing?

me: No, just don't have any yet...

her: You know, some people just don't like kids... blah, blah, blah...

me: (interrupting) Okayyyyyy... well see you later.

Yeah, cause you know the only reason someone wouldn't have kids is cause they don't like them.... and why the freak is it any one's business anyway?