I had been doing so good. I didn't even know what CD I was. I have been working really hard at coming to terms with the fact that this just isn't going to happen anytime soon. I have been really praying for God to help me realize that this is all going to happen in HIS time, not mine.
Before I start, let me remind you the I have PCOS, I don't ovulate on my own, and I am not taking any meds this cycle.
Saturday, when I went to the bathroom I had a little EWCM. No biggie, sometimes I get it at random times. However, I never have more than something so small it has to be searched for. Sunday I had a pretty large amount compared to what I am used to. Then I started wondering. Yesterday when I went pee I had the biggest amount of EWCM I have EVER seen. We are talking like the size of a bouncy ball and with a stretch of like 2 inches! Of course, I immediately got on Fertility Friend and found out I was on CD12. When I got home I took the very last OPK I had with pee that was only 2 hours concentrated. I got the faintest of lines.
So, my questions are these:
**I seem to remember reading somewhere that PCOS can cause you to get false positives/lines on OPKs but I can't remember where. Has anyone else ever heard of this?
**Should I go out and buy more OPKs? I go back and forth between this one. I would love to actually know for sure what's going on but I hate to spend the money on them (we are trying to save everything we can). I kind of feel like it doesn't really matter at this point... ?
I'm trying really hard to not get my hopes up. I really want to be able to hand as much of this over to God as I can. It's just getting to be too much to handle on my own! With that said, I'm pretty excited about the possibility of Oing on my own!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
So a lot has happened since I posted last. Hubby and I have done a lot of talking and have decided to wait until we have the money saved up to do another IUI. Honestly it is killing me but we really don't have any other. I've been doing pretty good considering. Of course I have my moments, though, when I just want to never get out of bed.
This evening is not so great. I feel like everyone and their mother is pregnant. Two of my cousins are pregnant. One family friend is pregnant. Five women at church are pregnant and about another five at work. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it happening to everyone but me.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Started my period today, told hubs that I needed to call RE to report CD1, hubs told me that he doesn't want to do fertility treatments anymore bc we cannot afford it. Had a emotional breakdown at work, took anti-anxiety medication, and now feel numb.
I have a lot to say so I think I am going to split it into two posts. One TTC related and one for everything else. I will try and type up the TTC on my lunch break
- We are officially all moved into the new apartment. It was crazy but we did it! Since we didn't have much time to give notice to the cable/Internet company we won't have either until Saturday, which sucks. I never realized how addicted I am to both until now.
- I mentioned early that I plan on getting new pillows for the new couch (which gets delivered on Sat!) since the ones that come with it are butt-ugly. I have been looking online and also found a small rug I like. Here is what is in the running so far:
- The working out everyday was going really well. I had lost 3.5 lbs in a week in a half. Notice how I said "was". I got sick with a virus/cold and just haven't been able to kick it, so I haven't been to the gym since last Wednesday. I have every intention of continuing but I can't afford to miss work so I am trying to keep from making the sickness worse.
- I seem to be doing a lot of bullet style posts lately. I kind of feel like that is because that's the way my brain is working lately. Nothing real fluid going on up there.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
I haven't been doing so hot at posting or commenting lately, have I? Sorry about that. It seems like lately I just don't have much to say.
A while back hubs and I decided that when our lease was up on our current apartment we would move down to a 1 bedroom (from a 2) to save money. When we signed the lease on this apartment, we were so sure that we would be pregnant by the time that we moved in so we got a 2 bedroom. Well, here we are a year later with no baby, no baby-belly, and no 2 cute pink lines. So we downsizing. It's actually kind of depressing when you think about it like that. I am trying real hard to think of it as just saving money. If by some miracle we get pregnant in the next year we can always renew our lease at the same complex and get a 2 bedroom.
Anyway, some how between hubs and I, and the complex people we got our move in dates mixed up twice. We were under the impression that we would be moving into the new place on Friday, the 19th. In fact, that is what our paper says. When we went to sign the papers this morning, we were informed that we are actually scheduled to move in on MONDAY the 15th! This wouldn't be such a big deal if it wasn't for the fact that we hadn't started packing until today. Oh yeah, and the fact that we both have jobs!!!! Luckily, hubs is off on Monday, so he will either be moving every thing by himself, or I will have to call into work. We would ask friends to help but it is super late notice and well, everyone else has to work too. At this point, we don't have much of a plan except to pack all weekend like mad.
Off topic here but I have been sick since Wednesday night. Worst sore throat ever, body aches, and fever. I went to the doctor on Thursday just to make sure it wasn't strep, which it isn't (thank you!), just a virus. The fever is gone and my throat is starting to feel better but now I have more cold-like symptoms, cough, runny nose, exhaustion. I am really tired of being sick... it's kind of hard to move when you are hacking up a lung.
Hope everyone is have a good weekend!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Dang, it's been a long time since I've posted! I dunno, I haven't really been that busy, just tired. I have so much to catch up on I'm just gonna do a bullet post.
- Last week Hubs and I took the week off together for our 2nd anniversary. Since our work schedules are so different, having that much time together was a present in and of itself. We were originally going to head to the beach for a few days but really couldn't justify it since we just made a big purchase (more on that below). We ended up just hanging out at home and by the pool together. It was wonderful!
- Two weekends ago, we FINALLY bought a couch!!!!!!!!!!!! Woot woot! We also splurged and got a chair too. The pictures really don't do them justice and I HATE the pillows....
- I started OPKs on CD13 and was getting negatives that never got darker or lighter. I was sure that I missed my surge but decided to go ahead and use my very last OPK yesterday evening (CD17) and got a positive!
- I have been trying to get myself to the gym for a while now and it just hasn't happened. Well, I weighed myself the other day and I am the heaviest I have ever been. I'm at a weight that I have always told myself I would never get to. I was talking to a lady at work about it and she suggested that we go to the gym together after work. Today was the third day in a row that we did it. I'm hoping that it will work better since I have someone to be accountable to. I am tired and sore all over but feeling pretty proud of myself! :)
- I think there was more I had planned on saying but I can't remember....